When a wealthy man dies, word spreads quickly not necessarily because of the loss, but due to the lavish event expected to follow. These gatherings become showcases for fine dining, rare wines, and flashy gestures. Even more disturbingly, some see the emotional vulnerability of widows as an opportunity for manipulative advances. Others treat the event like a food bank, stuffing their bags with leftovers they never contributed to.
Opulence Disguised: Mourning as Social Theater
In many Cameroonian settings, funerals resemble festivals more than memorials. Lavish tents, luxurious buffets, and elaborate décor turn what should be solemn gatherings into competitive spectacles. The focus shifts from the life and memory of the deceased to who brought the fanciest dish, who donated the most money, or who arrived in the most impressive outfit. It’s no longer about grieving it’s about performing.
To make matters worse, many guests show up empty-handed, only to leave with their hands full. What was meant as a communal meal becomes a moment of opportunistic foraging, where some exploit the generosity of mourning families for their own gain.
Between Greed and Manipulation
A deeply concerning aspect of these social deviations is the treatment of widows. In their pain and confusion, some are targeted by individuals seeking romantic or financial gain, disguised as emotional support. These actions, often veiled behind traditional norms, amount to manipulation at a time of deep vulnerability.
Other guests circle grieving households like vultures not to offer comfort, but to seize assets, secure favors, or position themselves strategically in the aftermath. It’s a troubling reflection of how community support can devolve into social opportunism.
The Diaspora Effect: Cultural Drift Abroad
These behaviors are no longer limited to villages or cities in Cameroon. The Cameroonian diaspora in Europe and North America is replicating and sometimes amplifying the same practices. In Paris, Brussels, Montreal, or Washington D.C., funerals are held in upscale venues, complete with professional catering and high-end decor. The underlying goal remains the same: to showcase status and win social currency.
Unfortunately, the same dynamics emerge: guests who come to flaunt, criticize the food or drinks, and seize the chance to gossip or scheme. The sacred is overshadowed by spectacle, even across continents.
Restoring the True Meaning of Mourning
In light of these troubling shifts, it’s time for collective reflection. Funerals should be moments of compassion, remembrance, and unity not arenas for indulgence, manipulation, or performance. The honor owed to the deceased and their loved ones must not be drowned in wine or lost behind extravagant decorations.
To return to the essence of mourning is to choose dignity, humility, and empathy. It is to affirm that true wealth lies not in what we show off or consume, but in the love and solidarity we offer one another.
