This is the story of a tropical kingdom governed by… no one. Or almost. A 92-year-old ghost, invisible and unreachable, supposedly presiding over the fate of a people kept in the formaldehyde of fear for 43 years. Paul Biya, the lizard-man of eternal power, is, according to this enraged pamphlet, closer to the freezer than to the Constitutional Council.
But fear not, Cameroonians: the country is in good hands. Those of Chantal, the Regent in floral dresses and velvety ambitions. Orbiting around her is a circle of political alchemists: Ferdinand Ngoh Ngoh the Grand Manipulator, Atanga Nji the paper sheriff, Ayolo the Chief Presidential Valet, and Oswald Baboké, official community manager of the undead kingdom.
Journalist on the run, Michel Ngatchou now a digital prophet of revolt doesn’t mince his words. From his voluntary (or forced) exile, he unloads a barrage of accusations against the regime that are as shocking as they are… plausible. According to him, this is no longer a state but a satanic lodge where governance owes more to grimoires than to constitutions. Witchcraft, obscure rituals in Kribi, discreet presidential massages, ghostly appointments signed from beyond the grave… welcome to esoteric Cameroon.
This isn’t a Facebook live it’s a civic exorcism. Between incantations against Françafrique and fiery calls to popular insubordination, the fugitive journalist targets the palaces, the villas, the mistresses, the exiled children of the regime. He offers no political program no but a strategy worthy of a dystopian thriller: film, log, and track every minister, every general, every system stooge. Why not include Canal+ satellites while we’re at it?
In his incantatory tirade, Ngatchou resurrects the martyred figures of Cameroonian nationalism: Um Nyobè, Moumié, Wandié. He paints Kamto as a modern messiah, whose potential electoral disqualification would, in his view, be the drop of blood too much. The alternative? A nationwide rebellion, civil unrest, a tsunami of rage to sweep away the mafia that confuses state with family inheritance.
And since nothing is possible without the green light or the curse of France, the real target becomes clear: all French companies operating on Cameroonian soil. Carrefour, Total, Orange, Bolloré? Suspected of collusion. Canal+? A tool of mass stupefaction. AXA? An accomplice in insurance. For Michel Ngatchou, it is no longer time to consume, but to “target.” Coldly. Methodically. To restore the “balance of terror” now elevated to a revolutionary doctrine.
As prefects tremble, fear shifts camps, and attempts are made to silence him in the name of an “imaginary insurrection,” the fugitive wraps himself in the robes of a digital martyr. His conclusion? A warrior’s plea:
“Cameroonians, are you ready? Prepare your heart… and your smartphone.”
